


My Baby Shot Me Down

by robron_til_the_end



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Character Death, M/M, Speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-06 09:39:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11597958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robron_til_the_end/pseuds/robron_til_the_end
Summary: Set a couple of months from now, tying in with the speculation about "serial killer Lachlan" Aaron panics when he hears that Robert's facing a threat from the teenager....





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t think this is going to happen, but the last time I said that it was on a Rebecca pregnancy story before the ONS, so clearly I have a skewed view of predicting Emmerdales robron treatment. Also, this Robert with the White's stuff is so boring and repetitive, surely there actually is another point to it?

It’s early afternoon, just past two and Aaron really should be at work. But the weather’s bad and its not conducive to scrapping and he can’t be bothered with the paperwork either. He’s got other things on his mind, so he’s propped up the end of the bar at The Woolpack and just started on his second pint of the day. The way it usually does lately, his mind goes to Robert.

He can live without him. He’s managed over the past few months, and living without him isn’t hard. It’s possible, but… God, he misses him. Life’s easy for him, possibly the easiest it’s been in years. Because Aaron doesn’t have an easy life usually. But it’s boring. And he misses Robert so damn much, and he‘s tired of lying to himself that he doesn’t. From what Vic says, Robert misses him too. Aaron doesn’t ask, but she’s Vic and she can’t resist sticking her oar in. Most days Aaron doesn’t even see him. It’s only occasionally when they bump into each other on the street or in the shop. Robert doesn't push or ask for anything, just smiles tiredly, looking years older. Aaron knew that's down to him.

And they haven’t touched in months either. Aaron misses his touch more than he thought possible. He thought it would be okay, that… he never really thought he’d miss the physical between them. Yeah, the sex was legendary between them, he’d known that. But what he hadn’t counted on was the fact that their history had entwined with their bodies, and it wasn’t just sex between them any more. Every time they got physical it was so much more. It was the kind of sex he’d willingly forget everything else to have again. And even though he’d had Robert for years now, it never got old, it never got boring. And no one else could compare either, the couple of sloppy one night stands he'd had with men he'd picked up in bars just showed him that.

The baby. That was the one stumbling block. But even though he wasn’t with Robert, every time he saw Rebecca in the village, he felt hatred, he felt jealous and envious. The rational side of his brain knew that wasn’t fair, Robert wasn’t his to be possessive over any more. But if he felt that way when he saw Rebecca anyway, what exactly was stopping him from going back to Robert? It’s not like he’d feel worse. No matter how much Chas or anyone else said it was better for him to stay away… he loved him. Yeah, he could survive without Robert in his life. But he didn’t **_want_ ** to. The only thing stopping him was he needed to shelve his pride, actually ask Robert, actually admit he still wanted him. And that would take another drink.

Everyone in the pub stopped talking as they heard sirens pass the building. It was a country village, it was relatively rare, although sometimes it didn’t seem that way. Then there was another batch of sirens, piquing the curiosity of everyone there. This was also a village of gossips and it didn't take ling before Marlon came in and said “Police. Loads of them. Don’t know what they’re up to.” It wasn’t until ten minutes later when Sam came in, looking… well, shaken.

“What’s up Sammy?” Cain said from the other end of the pub.

“Been kicked out,” Sam said. “There’s a whole load of fuss up at Home Farm.”

“What kind of fuss?” Cain asked.

“Lachlan’s gone crazy. Police say he’s holding everyone hostage at gunpoint.”

“You what?” Chas asked. “That’s insane.”

“Lachlan’s hardly the model of morality,” Aaron said, taking a sip of his drink. That family were welcome to whatever repercussions they wanted. Crazy the lot of them. Aaron’s sympathies were somewhat limited.

“Aaron…” Sam said. “I, er… Roberts car’s there.”

“What?” Aaron asked, turning cold. “You… you’re sure?”

“It was surrounded by police tape, but yeah, I’m sure.” Sam shrugged his shoulders. “He’s the only idiot round here who drives that kind of car.”

Aaron froze. Robert being held at gunpoint. By Lachlan. And if Lachlan really was at breaking point… Robert was the obvious choice to remove first. This kid had already shot his grandfather, what was Robert to him really? For all he knew Rebecca could be egging him on.

“I have to go,” Aaron said instantly, getting up from his bar stool. Whatever happened, if Robert died without knowing how much he loved him…


	2. Chapter 2

_**Home Farm, two hours earlier.** _

“Right, I should be going,” Robert said, putting his glass down on the coffee table, deal done.

“No, stay for another drink,” Rebecca said.

“No,” Robert said, gently but firmly. “I can’t, I need to go home. And you’ve got to start doing the business on your own. I’ve got my own business to run.”

“What, the scrap with Aaron?” Rebecca asked.

“No, the Haulage firm. It’s good money, and I’ve been neglecting it to help you. I can’t keep doing that Bex. I need to get back to work, forge some kind of life for myself.”

“How is Aaron?” she asked, as that’s the obvious elephant in the room.

“I don’t really see him much these days,” Robert said, shaking his head. “I think he’s okay. Just miss him.”

“You’re still wearing your wedding ring,” Rebecca noticed.

“And I always will,” Robert said. “I want him in my life, I want my future with him. It’s just… it seems he doesn’t feel the same. Which is fine, I can cope with that. Or I hope I can cope with that,” he added fairly. “As long as he’s happy.”

“You need to move on,” she said. “It’s not right for you to keep hanging on for a memory.”

“And what should I move on to?” Robert asked, getting slightly annoyed now. “You?”

“You could,” Rebecca said. “It’s easy with us, it always was. And this…” her hands went to her bump. “It could be so easy.”

“I don’t want easy, Bex. I want messy and complicated and heart breaking and devastating and wonderful and all consuming and perfect,” Robert said, describing his relationship with Aaron perfectly. “I don’t want you. I never wanted you, yeah that’s harsh. But you were only ever a distraction for me. I’m sorry. I want us to get on for the baby, but… there’s no future for me and you together. There never was.”

“Rob, don’t say that,” Rebecca said, shaking her head. “We always come back to each other.” She moved in to kiss him, but Robert didn’t let her, turning away.

“I’ve never slept with you when I wasn’t seriously drunk,” Robert said. “That should tell you something. Have a bit of self respect.”

“Me?” she snapped, getting annoyed. “I should have self respect? What about you? You drop your jeans for anything that moves, don’t even care what gender they are any more.”

“Er, excuse me, being bi doesn’t mean I’ll sleep with everyone,” Robert said. “That flaw tends to be down to my self destructing personality,” he added under his breath.

“Robert, why did you ask me to come here?” Rebecca said. “To the village? Because you wanted me, don’t lie.”

“If you want the honest truth, I wish I hadn’t,” Robert said. “You’ve cost me my husband, my marriage, and my family, the best things I had in my life. If I could do it again, I wouldn’t.” She slapped him. “And on that note, I think I should go.”

“Rob, you can’t…” she never finished her sentence. A bang from upstairs caught their attention, sounding remarkably like a gunshot. “What the…?”

“Lachlan?!” They both heard Chrissie shout, running into the hallway from the kitchen as they followed her, but Lachlan was already coming down the staircase, gun poised in his hands. A shot gun. Lawrence and Ronnie and a bloke Robert didn’t recognise followed them, everyone staring at the teenager.

“Lucky, what the hell are you doing?!” Chrissie shouted.

“Having a party,” Robert deadpanned.

“Shut up!” Rebecca hissed under her breath, though everyone was looking at Lachlan.

“Weren’t you…” Chrissie started. “Belle. I thought…”

“Yeah, she dumped me,” Lachlan said, still holding the gun steady. “I… she said all these things and…” He looked angry and Robert eyed the door. Could he make it? No, probably not and he wasn’t a fool enough to risk it. Not with a gun in the room. He did however have his phone in his pocket, could he call 999? No, Lachlan seemed unhinged from the crazy look in his eyes.

“I hear you’ve cut us out of the will,” Lachlan said, looking at Lawrence. He smiled, a placating smile Robert knew.

“Dad?” Chrissie asked, looking like this was news to her. “Is it true?”

“Yes,” he said, after a moments hesitation.

“Dad!”

“Don’t look at me like that!” Lawrence snapped. “You were the one desperate to know your “real” dad. Being there to pick up the pieces of your life for forty years didn’t seem to matter for a second to you!”

“This seems like none of my business,” Robert said, taking a step backwards, towards the door. The exit.

“Don’t move,” Lachlan said, pointing the gun at him now. Robert didn’t like guns, had never liked them and his warming towards them had been lessened significantly since he was shot two years ago.

“Everyone, in there,” he said, pointing to the study Robert and Rebecca had just come out of. They moved as one, though the guy Robert didn’t know made a break for the door. Another shot as Lachlan took aim and winged the man who collapsed, groaning on the floor, blood flowing from his thigh, lying in front of the door.

“Move!” Lachlan shouted, and none of them wasted any more time.

* * *

 

Aaron saw the mess of Police and ambulances when he parked outside Home Farm haphazardly. A man was on a stretcher, late fifties maybe. “Who raised the alarm?” one of the officers was saying, Aaron eavesdropping.

“Tim something,” the woman replied, nodding at the stretcher. “On his way to Hotten general. It was only a graze luckily. But God knows what’s going in in there. We’re waiting for negotiators and…” she spotted Aaron. “Can I help you?”

“My husbands in there,” Aaron said, ignoring her double take at the word “husband.” “What’s going on, please.”

“We can’t give out any information,” she said, like she’d learned it by rote.

“Well, what are you doing to get them out?” Aaron asked. “I heard someone’s got a gun in there.”

“The situation’s under control,” the woman said. “You’d be best leaving and…”

“My husbands in there!” Aaron repeated. “I don’t care what you think, I’m not moving.

“Okay, your husband is…?” she asked, seeming to realise that getting more information was a better move than trying to get rid of him.

“Robert Sugden, that’s his car and he’s not answering his phone,” Aaron said. He’d called Robert on the way up here, knowing, hoping that after so long if Robert were able to, he’d answer the call. Deep down, Aaron knew that he would. Which meant he couldn’t get to his phone. "Please, you have to get him out, he has to be okay," Aaron almost begged. "Please."

* * *

 

Robert didn’t enjoy spending time with a dead body. Lawrence was prone on the floor, wound in his chest and it was obvious he was gone. Lachlan had shot him without seeming to think twice about it, still gripping the gun. People had cried, screamed until Lachlan let out another warning shot into the ceiling, and time had passed. Chrissie, Rebecca, Ronnie, they were all quiet, looking at the loss from time to time. The crying had stopped, the grief hadn’t and Robert was trying not to panic. He was easily the next obvious target. He wasn’t related to Lachlan, he didn’t have anything to protect him. Half the people in this room had been suspects for his shooting two years ago, it was obvious they wanted him dead.

Aaron. That’s where he allowed his mind to go, to settle on. Because thinking of Aaron was good. Aaron was the one thing in his life he’d done right. Yes, he’d messed it up so badly, but he knew he’d made Aaron briefly happy. There was a time after the car crash, before Kasim when they were happy. A beautiful Christmas they’d spent together, happy and in love. And even when life was a mess, which was most of the time, loving Aaron, knowing Aaron loved him, that was something good to hold onto. So he’d hold onto that. If today was the last day he’d get to live, he’d spend it thinking of something that truly mattered.


	3. Chapter 3

 

Lachlan had a lot of people to keep an eye on, so Robert managed to get his phone out of his pocket without being seen. Seventeen missed calls from Aaron. Six from Vic, and the one that really surprised him, two missed calls from Liv. Word had got out then. He shifted slightly, trying to hide his hands behind Rebecca. Heavily pregnant, it was almost easy and he started a text message to Aaron. He had to.

* * *

 

Aaron didn’t know what to do. He sat in his car, thinking as he looked at the house. There was no way on this earth he could leave. But standing there while police officers looked at him wasn’t helping either, they should be focusing on the hostage situation they were now in. Not him. His phone dinged with a message, and he hurriedly opened it, seeing that it was from Robert.  
_“Now you call me? You can pick your moments.”_ Aaron let out the breath he’d been holding for what felt like an hour. Robert was still alive. For now.

_“I’m outside. There’s so many police and I need to get in.”_

It took a while for a response, a couple of minutes but it felt like so much longer to Aaron, sitting in his car. “ _No. Don’t. I need to know you’re safe, I can’t have you anywhere near this. Go home.”_

Aaron scoffed because that wasn’t at all likely. Not even possible for how he felt. _“Would you?”_

 _“No.”_ Aaron smiled. _“But I still love you. You’ve no need to be here, you left me, don’t be here for guilt. Your life’s not worth that.”_

Aaron ignored that completely. _“Is it Lachlan?”_

_“Yes. Belle was upstairs dumping him and Lachlan shot her, we think. I don’t know how she is. Lawrence is dead.”_

* * *

 

“What are you doing?” Rebecca whispered.

“Texting Aaron,” Robert said lowly, seeing that Lachlan was watching Chrissie almost contemplatively.

“Why?”

“He’s worried,” Robert said, and there was no denying the almost smug, most definitely hopeful look on his face. “That’s got to be good, right? That he’s worried about me?”

“Oh yeah, I’m sure that’s worth a shot gun in your face,” she said sarcastically.

“He’s my husband, I want him back. Not a crime is it?”

“What do you see in him?” Rebecca asked. “He can’t do anything for you, he’s not your next rung on the money ladder, he’s already said he doesn’t want you, why’re you hanging on?”

“Because I love him,” Robert said. “And I know that’s tricky to get your biphobic mind around, but I love him.”

“You can’t.”

“Why? Because he’s not you? Because I still managed to have sex with a woman and get you pregnant? Obviously means I can’t like men, doesn’t it?”

“I didn’t say that,” Rebecca snapped. “He makes you miserable.”

“Based off what? What you see when you keep interfering and sticking your nose in?” Robert said.

“I don’t…”

“Yes, you do, you always have. You’ve never been able to leave Aaron and me alone. Oh, I bet you thought Christmas had come early when I called you desperate and drunk. You’d only been waiting for the opportunity for six months.”

“Excuse me,” Rebecca said. “It wasn’t just me. You were pretty desperate for me at the time I seem to remember.”

“Well, lucky you, because I don’t remember,” Robert said. “I can’t remember what happened, I’d drunk too much. I never should have called you. But you’re an idiot if you think this is all my fault.”

“Hate to break up the party, but we have something else to focus on rather than your tragic little love lives,” Chrissie said, rolling her eyes. Both of them had been speaking louder and louder, seemingly unaware of the current situation. Rebecca bit her bottom lip and shut up, face red.

“Come on Lucky, you don’t want to do this, give me the gun.”

“Why?” he asked. “What’ve I got left? I’ve got nothing, he’s dead, Belle’s probably dead. I’m going to prison anyway, might as well finish the job properly.” He’s crying now, losing control and Robert stopped even wanting to argue with Rebecca. It’s a waste of time and time is one thing he doesn’t have right now.

“It’ll be all right, you’ll get help,” Chrissie wheedled. “I promise it’ll be okay.”

“Like you promised last time?!” Lachlan shouted. “It won’t be okay, it will never be okay. God, what’ve I done?”

“Give me the gun,” Chrissie said, walking towards him. “I’ll walk out with you, we’ll explain to the police and it’ll all be fine.” Lachlan kept crying. “I’m your mum, give me the gun.” Everyone watched and eventually, so painfully slowly, Lachlan did. Once Chrissie had it, they all let out a joint sigh of relief, Lachlan falling into his mothers arms.

“We can go out slowly,” Ronnie said, though everyone could see the hatred on his face for the kid. Chrissie and Lachlan left the house, Ronnie following and for the first time in so long, Robert felt himself relax.

“You’ve got something…” Rebecca said. Robert felt where she was pointing and it was Aaron’s wedding ring, on the chain around his neck. Robert tucked it safely back inside his shirt.  
Rebecca looked at him, seeming so sad. “You’re never going to want me, are you?” she said quietly. “I’m doing what no one else could. I’m carrying your son. And it’s still not enough, because nothing can match up to your precious Aaron, can they?”

“Rebecca…”

“Just say it.”

“No, no one can match up,” Robert said honestly. “I’ve been telling you that for a year. I’m in love with him. Unstoppably in love with him. And it doesn’t matter that he’s moving on, that he doesn’t want me. I love him, and I’ve never lied to you and said that I don’t.”

Rebecca sighed, then moved. Robert watched almost in slow motion as she picked up the gun Lachlan had left. “What are you doing?” Robert asked, taking a step backwards, like that would stop an oncoming bullet. “Bex…”

“You’re never going to let me go. I’ll never be free of you will I?”

“Rebecca, don’t…” he never finished his sentence. She pulled the trigger. It sounded so loud and Rebecca dropped the gun at the same moment Robert hit the floor. She hadn’t shot him in the chest, that was the only saving grace. Robert’s hands clenched over his stomach, the blood flowing thick already as she turned and left the house.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've invented the medical details here, so they probably have little bearing on reality (though that hasn't stopped Emmerdale just assuming how pregnancy works. Bitter, me?) Anyway, hope you enjoy this and thank you for the support so far!

Maybe Robert lost consciousness for a few seconds or so, because when he opened his eyes Aaron was rushing towards him. “Robert!” He let out a small pained smile, seeing Aaron coming towards him. Aaron looked at the damage, cursing under his breath as he did so.

“Bad?” Robert whispered.

“Paramedics are coming,” Aaron said surely. “Just hold on.”

“Look,” Robert breathed heavily. “You’ve done your best. You can go, if you don’t want to be here. Just go. I won’t hold it against you.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Aaron said surely. “You can’t die on me, okay? I’m not having it.”

“You don’t even like me lately,” Robert said. He let out a high pitched cry as a paramedic appeared and touched the wound on his stomach. “That _really_ hurts.”

“Keep him distracted,” one of the paramedics said to Aaron, looking serious as she looked at the wound.

“Rob, look at me,” Aaron said, taking his hand firmly. “Gotta keep looking at me, okay?”

“I’m dying, just say it,” Robert said.

“Don’t be thick,” Aaron said. “You’re not dying.”

“Why’re you here?” Robert asked. “Why do you even care?”

“You want me to spell it out for you?” Aaron asked.

“Go on,” Robert said, a familiar glint in his eyes. “Couldn’t hurt.”

“You think I want you dead?” Aaron said. “Why? Yeah, you’re an absolute nightmare but…”

“Oh, don’t make me laugh,” Robert said, grimacing in pain as his body moved.

“Right, Robert? We’re going to move you onto a stretcher now and get you in the ambulance. It’s going to hurt,” one of the paramedics said.

“Okay,” Robert breathed. “Do it.” He squeezed Aaron’s hand tightly, shouting out in pain as they moved him. It did hurt, white bolts of pain going through his stomach and chest. “Can’t I pass out yet? Please God…” he breathed, noticing Aaron flinch at the obvious pain he was in. No one said very much until he was loaded in the back of the ambulance, Aaron obviously going with him. It wasn’t even a question.

“Robert? I’m not going to lie, this is serious,” a paramedic said. “I need you to stay conscious for as long as possible. When we get you to the hospital, you’re going to be rushed into emergency surgery. You understand me?”

Robert nodded briefly. “How bad? Don’t sugar coat it.”

“Robert,” Aaron said warningly, holding his hand and squeezing it tight.

“Be honest,” Robert said.

“Okay,” the paramedic replied, taking him seriously. “From what we can see, the gun shot has torn the lining of your stomach. Which means stomach acid is leaking into your abdomen. The fact you’re still conscious is a minor miracle, but you need surgery now.”

“Odds?” Robert asked. “Come on, I don’t want to die, just…”

“Fifty fifty.”

“Thanks.” Robert sighed, wondering if panic was appropriate now.

“So, Aaron, keep him talking. Distract him.” Aaron nodded.

“Rebecca.”

“What?” It was just about the word he wanted to hear from Robert least.

“Lachlan didn’t shoot me,” Robert said desperately. “Rebecca picked up the gun and she shot me.”

“Why would she do that?” Aaron asked, frowning.

“I’m not lying!”

“No, I know,” Aaron said quickly. “Sh, it’s okay. Just… why?”

“She got annoyed when it became clear I wanted you,” Robert said in between gasps. “I don’t think she planned it, I just think she acted on the spur of the moment.”

“Robert, you need to hold on,” Aaron said. “Okay? Just… think of something else. Something good.”

“What, my wonderful single life?” Robert kept breathing heavily. “Impending fatherhood that I don’t want? Losing everything that mattered?”

Aaron kissed him, whether to shut him up, to distract him from the pain, or because he wanted to, Robert didn’t know. He also didn’t care. It was one of the oddest sensations of his life, because his body was in complete agony, and yet he couldn’t stop kissing Aaron. Light repetitive kisses that was the good point Robert had to focus on.

“Why’d you do that?” Robert whispered, face pale.

“I wanted to.”

* * *

 

Once at the hospital, Robert was torn from him instantly, heading straight to an operating room. Leaving Aaron in the waiting room, wondering if he’d ever see Robert alive again. He wasn’t stupid, he knew this wasn’t good and there was a possibility Robert would die on the table. But he couldn’t think about that. After about twenty minutes, a nurse or doctor or a medical someone approached him with a sad looking smile on her face.

“No, don’t,” Aaron said, fearing the worst. “Please, I can’t...”

“No, he’s still in surgery,” she said, cutting him off. “We won’t know more for a few hours. I’m just here to give you these.” Aaron held his hand out and the nurse gave him a chain and Robert’s wedding ring. The chain carried Aaron's own wedding ring, and he sighed. “He can’t have them on while we’re operating.

“Thanks,” Aaron said hollowly. “Is he…?”

“Doing okay for now,” the doctor said. “I’ll let you know more when I know.”

“Thank you." And all Aaron could do was wait.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this turned a bit Vic and Aaron heavy. Sorry! And thank you for the encouragement so far!

 

Aaron talked to the police who arrived not long after the nurse left him. Aaron didn’t know enough, but he did tell them that Robert told him Rebecca was the one who pulled the trigger. They looked skeptical and promised to return when Robert woke up. Aaron didn’t have the energy to argue. Rebecca was both rich and seven months pregnant, it wasn’t like she was going anywhere fast. Aaron had both his and Robert’s wedding rings clutched in his fist, tight enough that he can feel the ridges of the metal against his palm. But he can’t look at them yet, it felt almost like admitting defeat. And while Robert was on the operating table, there was still hope.

“How is he?!” Aaron looked up to see Vic, hair coming out of her plait and wild eyed. “Is it true, was he shot?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Vic,” Aaron said tiredly. “In the stomach, it’s bad and I’m sure.” Vic sat next to him, apparently intent on waiting with him. “You’re not going to ask who did it?”

“I heard… Lachlan went all trigger happy,” Vic said with a frown.

“Rebecca did it,” Aaron said. “You know, the paragon of virtue you’ve favoured over your own brother.”

“That’s not fair,” Vic said. “She needed…”

“Whatever she needed should have come second to what your brother needed. Why do I have to explain this? It’s what family does, Vic.”

“Don’t lecture me on family,” Vic said firmly. “I’m the only one who’s considering this baby and…”

“Vic, shut up,” Aaron snapped, having just about had enough of this now. “You’ve been on that track for months. Maybe, just maybe when your brother has a bullet in his stomach that surgeons are currently trying to fix, maybe your focus could be on him. Not the woman who shot him.” They lapsed into silence.

“Why would she do that?” Vic asked, anything to break the stale mate.

“I don’t know,” Aaron said. “He’s pissed me off a lot, but I never thought of putting a bullet in him.”

“Not even…”

“No, Vic. Not even,” Aaron said, knowing she was thinking of two years ago when Robert was in a coma. “I never stopped loving him. He drives me mad all the time, but I can’t stop, even though my life would be easier if I could. You think I’m sat here praying for him to die?”

“No,” Vic said. “I don’t think that.” Vic reached across and squeezed Aaron’s thigh gently. And he took the offer of reassurance. Right now, he’d take whatever he could get.

* * *

 

It took more than six hours for Robert to get out of surgery. Six hours during which every minute felt like a life time. But the longer they went without news, the longer Aaron kept convincing himself that Robert was holding on.

“How is he?” Aaron asked as a doctor approached them.

“It was a complicated surgery, the bullet had torn through quite a significant portion of his stomach lining…”

“Just tell me if he’s going to be okay,” Aaron said, cutting across the nonsense. He didn’t care what they had to do to fix him, he just wanted Robert to be okay.

“Right, his heart stopped a couple of times during the operation. We got him back,” the doctor added, seeing the look on Aaron’s face. “But we’re not entirely sure how he’ll be when he wakes up.”

“When he wakes up,” Aaron repeated. “So he _will_ wake up?”

“The signs are good, but… he may have lacked oxygen while his heart arrested, so…”

“You’re talking about brain damage,” Vic said, interrupting. “Aren’t you?”

“It is a possibility. Just… to prepare yourselves,” the doctor said. “His stomach will heal, but the rest depends on him.”

“Can I see him?” Aaron asked.

“They’re moving him to a room right now,” the doctor said. “I didn’t think you’d want to wait for news.” 

“Thank you,” Aaron said, sitting back down heavily. Possible brain damage. Oh God.

“He’ll be fine,” Vic said, though her voice sounded faint.

“Will he?”

“He’s Robert, he always gets what he wants.”

“ _He always gets what he wants?_ ” Aaron parroted back to her in disbelief. “Have you been paying even the slightest bit of attention to his life lately?”

“Fine, he’s stubborn,” Vic said. “Or are you going to argue about that one as well?”

“Vic, I’m not the one who completely forgot about my brother and one of my oldest friends the minute a blonde waif decided you were her new best friend. You never even considered me when Robert slept with her. Obviously I didn’t have a fetus growing inside me, so my feelings didn’t count.”

“Aaron, I know you’re worried and anxious, but don’t take it out on me,” Vic said, clearly with what she thought was dignity.

“You’re dreaming if you think this hasn’t been coming,” Aaron said. “You’re my friend. You’re Robert’s sister, but you were also my friend. And you completely forgot about me the second Rebecca so much as looked at you.”

“Aaron, that’s not how it was…”

“Vic, try and remember the last time you asked how I was? How I was coping? That woman slept with my husband. Yeah, I can blame Robert all I want, and I do. But she made the choice to sleep with someone she knew was married and taken. And you side with her? Yeah, Vic. That is exactly how it was.”

They slipped into silence again and five minutes later a nurse asks them if they want to see Robert. “Yes,” Aaron said instantly. Vic looked shifty.

“I’ll just… wait here.” Maybe he’d got through to her, then. Aaron followed the nurse to Robert’s room, needing to see him.

Robert laying on the bed looked… small. He had a mask over his face, but otherwise he could be sleeping. Ignoring the harsh hospital lighting and the beeping machines in the corner.

“How long?” Aaron asked. “Until he wakes up?”

“A couple of hours usually,” the nurse said. “For most patients. You can sit with him until he wakes up. It‘ll do him some good to have a friend.”

“He’s not my friend,” Aaron said instantly. “He’s my husband.” She nodded and Aaron sat next to him, taking Robert’s hand in his gently. Just praying for him to wake up and be fine. That’s all he wanted in the world. Aaron realised he still had their rings in his palm, had been holding them the entire time while waiting for news. They were a little blood splattered but whole, and Aaron knew Robert had been wearing his, so he didn’t feel much reluctance in sliding it back on his finger where it belonged. With his own, Aaron looked at it for a few seconds. It didn’t feel right to wear his own ring again, so instead he put the chain around his own neck. Hopefully, Robert would be awake again enough to tell him what to do with it. He squeezed Robert’s hand, and he waited.


	6. Chapter 6

 

Aaron got twenty minutes alone with Robert until Vic turned up. Considering the circumstances, he thought that was pretty good going. He might be annoyed and upset with Vic, but her brother has just been shot.

“No change?”

“No,” Aaron said.

“You should go.”

“What?!” Aaron asked in disbelief.

“No, I mean,” she nodded at him. “Your hands. It won’t do him any good to see that when he wakes up.” Aaron looked down and Robert’s blood was still on him, turned brown now. He should wash his hands, but… “I’ll stay with him.”

“I’ll be five minutes,” Aaron said, quickly leaving to find a bathroom he could get cleaned up. He hadn’t even considered that. When his hands are as clean as they’re going to get, he returned to the room, relieved that Robert hadn’t woken up when he’d been gone. That’d be just like him, doing it at his own pace.

“The police found me,” Vic said when Aaron took his seat.

“Oh?” Aaron said. “They arrested Rebecca yet?”

“No,” Vic said.

“Why the hell not?”

“She does have a good excuse,” Vic said. “She’s in labour.”

“What, she’s in this hospital?” Aaron asked. The thought of the woman who’d shot Robert actually in the building…

“They can’t arrest her until Robert wakes up,” Vic said. “They’ve only got your word for it and you weren’t there.”

“Robert might not remember,” Aaron said sadly. “He might not even…” He couldn’t go on. The fact that Robert might have brain damage was a thought Aaron couldn’t think about for too long. “But he told me, he said it. I’m not making it up to get rid of her.”

“I know,” Vic said.

“Anyway, isn’t she far too early?” Aaron asked.

“Yes. Premature. They’re not sure if the baby’s going to make it.”

“Great,” Aaron said sarcastically. “Now I’m the bastard who wished a premature baby dead.”

“You didn’t…”

“I did,” Aaron said interrupting her. “Several times. I don’t get you, I don’t get how you don’t understand how I’m feeling. Why this isn’t the best thing to be happening to me.”

“Aaron…”

“You’ve been me,” Aaron said. “With Adam and Vanessa. You know how much this hurts.”

“It’s just more complicated than that,” Vic said.

“Yeah, it is,” Aaron agreed. “But not just for Robert, okay? I’m your friend, why did you never once consider me? I know you’re baby mad, but…”

“I’m not baby mad,” Vic said, scrunching her nose up.

“Look, can we just… draw a line under it?” Aaron said. “I’ve said what I had to say and… that’s that.”

“Okay,” Vic said. “I may have got a little tunnel vision.”

“You **_may_** have?” He caught her eye and both of them smiled, a cease fire called in the quiet. 

“You’re still here,” Vic said. “You’re not together and yet you’re here.”

“I don’t know how this is going to work,” Aaron admitted. “I don’t know if it can work at all. But I’ve been thinking about him a lot lately and… I want it to work. I miss him so much.”

“He misses you.”

“So you keep saying,” Aaron said. “He’s not called. He’s not come over. He's left me completely alone.”

“He’s giving you space, you said that’s what you wanted,” Vic said. “Did…”

“I did want that,” Aaron said, looking at Robert’s face. “I definitely needed to be… away from him for a while. I’ve been… getting help. But I do miss him.”

“You’re not here to break his heart are you?” Vic said. “That’s not…”

“No, but I do want to talk to him. And I did before Lachlan and Rebecca happened. I was sat in the pub thinking about him actually. I need to talk to him. Preferably conscious.”

“What if…”

“I can’t even think that,” Aaron said, knowing Vic had been about to say brain damage. “He’ll be fine. He’s Robert, right?”

“Right.”

It took about another hour for Robert to start twitching, coming back around.

“Hey,” Aaron said quietly, holding his hand, thumb rubbing across the skin. “You’re all right, you’re okay.” Robert frowns, his free hand coming up to remove the face mask.

“What happened?” he asked. 

“What do you remember?” Aaron asked.

“Home Farm. Crazy woman with a shot gun. You. Pain, it really hurt. And then… it gets a little bit foggy. Ambulance, I think?” Aaron and Vic shared a look, one that shows they’re both so relieved. Robert’s brain seems to be working well. “What?” Robert asked, seeing them look.

“Vic, can we…” Aaron said and she can take the hint. She nodded, kissed Robert’s head, then left very quickly.

“What happened?” Robert asked when the door closed behind her.

“You’ve been in surgery for a while. They’ve repaired your stomach, and… don’t panic. When you were under, your heart stopped twice. But they got you back and you seem all right, though I probably should call the doctor.”

“No, don’t,” Robert said, and Aaron wasn’t really in any hurry to either. Robert seemed okay, and he didn’t want to ruin this time together. Robert breathed into the mask a couple of times. “Did I… dream it, or did you kiss me? In the ambulance?”

“Yeah, I did,” Aaron said, smiling slightly. Robert smiled too, then started panicking. His hand went to his throat and he couldn’t feel the chain he’d worn since Aaron left him. “It’s fine,” Aaron said. “I’ve got it. They gave it to me when you went to the operating room. It’s not lost, I’ve got it.” He spoke very levelly, trying to keep calm as Robert looked a little disorientated.

“Where is it?” Aaron tugged the chain around his own neck briefly before tucking it back inside his shirt. “But…”

“If it’s okay with you, I want to keep it,” Aaron said, lips twitching. Though it seemed to be not the right thing to say, because Robert looked uncomfortable, staring at the ceiling.

“I think you should leave,” Robert said. “I appreciate you being here, I really do, but you should go.” He was still speaking to the ceiling.

“Why?”

“Aaron, me being shot doesn’t change anything. You left me. You’re happier alone. And I want you to be happy, God knows I want that more than anything else in the world. And you can’t be happy with me.”

“And I get no say in this?” Aaron asked, frowning.

“Yeah, of course,” Robert said, looking at him now. “And you made your choice months ago. When things were clear and there wasn’t a possibility I might die. I’m not getting back together with you just because you’re feeling guilty I might have kicked the bucket.”

“Rob, it’s not that.”

“You’re a good person,” Robert said. “I always knew that, and I’m letting you off the hook. Just… leave, and promise me you’ll try and be happy.”

“Why’re you pushing me away?” Aaron asked. He knew Robert wanted him, if nothing else the rings proved that. Had he missed his chance? Robert didn’t do selfless, if he wanted something, he took it. This… letting Aaron be happy alone, it didn’t seem like Robert. At all. “What, I thought…”

“You made the decision when you had all the time in the world to think it through,” Robert said. “All I want is for you to be happy. And all I did was make you completely miserable. So yes, I do love you. But I won’t hurt you again, I won’t let that happen. So please Aaron. Leave.” Robert’s returned to looking at the ceiling and Aaron can tell his jaw’s clenched. Aaron didn’t try to fight back, he has some pride. He got up and was at the door when another thing occurred to him. Something Robert should know.

“Oh, one more thing,” Aaron said. “Rebecca’s gone into premature labour. The doctors know the situation and they’re going to let you know how it goes.”

“Great,” Robert said dully. Aaron left the room and Robert sighed heavily when he was alone. Breathing deeply hurt, pulled at internal things that it shouldn’t do. But at least the pain was real, and it grounded him when every thing else was spinning out of control. He’d done the right thing for Aaron, he knew that. That didn’t make it not hurt.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Saturdays chapter, up early! There is no Robert and Aaron interaction here, but I'm quite fond of this chapter, so I hope you like it too! Also, I'm inventing police procedure, just go with it! ;)

Aaron got to the lift at the end of the hall and he couldn’t say what made him do it. He pushed the number two on the lift, heading towards maternity. He shouldn’t, he knew he shouldn’t, but at this point what would it hurt? Robert’s just ditched him. Yes, they weren’t together but he thought, he’d hoped Robert would be waiting for him. It became crystal clear just how much Aaron had assumed that if he’d asked, Robert would get back with him. That that option was always there, but Aaron hadn’t expected Robert to actually say no, and that hurt him.

“Can I help you?”

Aaron looked at the receptionist and had no memory of his feet having taken him there.

“Er… Rebecca White?” Aaron said. He was here after all.

“Hang on.” The smiling woman tapped away on her keyboard, then her smile faded rapidly. “Er… why? Why’re you looking for her?”

“Well, apparently she’s in labour,” Aaron said blankly.

“You can’t see her,” the woman said. “She’s being questioned by police right now.”

“Which means the baby…?” Aaron questioned.

“In the NICU,” she said.

“He’s here?” Aaron said, waiting for his world to shift. “He’s been born, is he okay?”

“I can’t give that information out to non family,” she said, really irritatingly. Aaron debated going into the fact this tiny baby was his estranged husbands child, who was currently lying in intensive care after mother of said child shot him, but decided that was far too much like hard work. So he lied. 

“I’m the uncle,” he said. “Come on, that baby’s got no one. His father’s been shot, his mother’s being questioned for it. Please.”

“Right, I need you to sign in here, and I need some ID before I can let you in.” Aaron frowned at her. “People steal babies these days,” she said with a shrug. Aaron found his drivers licence and gave her the information she needed, still wondering why he was doing this. This baby wasn’t anything to him, this was ridiculous. Vic should be here instead, or…

“Great, just through those doors, the NICU is the second on your right.”

“Thank you,” Aaron said. Almost in a daze, he walked through and within what felt like seconds he was standing in front of a large glass window, about eight incubators, a nurse, a mother sitting next to her daughter, hand through the box and several babies who all looked far too small to be able to survive.

“You okay there?” Aaron turned and saw a doctor.

“I don’t know the name of the baby,” Aaron realised. “Um… Rebecca White. She’s… two months early and I don’t know, I’m not sure…”

“You can go in,” the doctor said, cutting across his rambling. Aaron nodded, then did, and the nurse directed him to the correct incubator. The tag reading “Rebecca White. M. 4lb 6oz.” No name. He didn’t even have a name yet, too small, too little. Been too much of a pain in the arse since he came into existence.

“How’s he doing?” Aaron asked the nurse.

“Er… okay,” she said, looking at his medical chart. “A bit underweight, and we’ve given him steroid injections to develop his lungs. But for eight weeks early, he’s doing okay.”

“Good,” Aaron said. “That’s good.”

“Dad given him a name yet?” she asked, trying to be helpful Aaron knew.

“Oh, er… no,” Aaron decided on. It was simpler that way. “Can I touch him?”

“Yeah,” she said with a smile. She was distracted by one of the other baby’s monitor beeping, giving Aaron a tiny bit of privacy. He put his hand through the hole on the side of the incubator, and touched the baby’s tiny hand.

“Hey,” Aaron said quietly. “So this wasn’t quite what we all had planned was it? I don’t think you were what any of us had planned.” Aaron sighed. “I don’t know what’s going to happen to you. Or your mum. It’s probably not going to be good for her actually.”

Aaron sighed, thinking things through. “I didn’t want you here. But I know none of this is your fault. We can’t help our screwed up parents. But I need you to do me one little favour, okay? Can you just… hang on? For me. Because if you were to… I don’t think I’d be able to forgive myself. I’ve wished… well, you were just a problem I wanted to go away. You were never really real.” Aaron stroked his little hand gently. “Now I need you to be real. So cling onto life for a bit, eh? And I’m going to go. I’m sure your daddy will be here to see you soon.” Aaron couldn’t stay. He’d seen the baby, that would have to do because right now he didn’t have any more in him.

* * *

“Did you kick Aaron out?” Vic asked, her feet up on Robert’s bed now that the doctor had stopped examining him and declared him healthy. Well, in the brain department anyway, he still had stitches on his stomach and was being given nutrition through a tube because he couldn’t eat yet. His stomach needed a few days to heal before he could risk food.

“Yes,” Robert said heavily.

“Why?!” Vic said. “He was so worried when you were in surgery, he didn’t deserve that.”

“Oh, now you want me with him?” Robert questioned. Then he sighed very heavily. “I… I love him. I love him more than I’ve ever loved anything including myself. And when I was with him all I did was hurt him and cause him pain. I am not about to put him through that again. Vic, I love him enough to let him go. It’s better for him, he’ll be happier and I want that for him.”

“Selfless looks weird on you,” Vic said, screwing up her nose. “Anyway, I have news.”

“Yes?”

“The baby’s here,” Vic said, smiling a little. “He… er… he’s very small, but they think he’ll be all right in the end.”

“Oh,” Robert said. He had no idea how he was supposed to feel about that. “Rebecca?”

“She’s admitted GBH with intent. Her prints were all over the gun, but it was pretty obvious she hadn’t planned it before hand. With Lachlan being all... you know.”

“So... what’s happening to her?”

“They’re giving her a few days grace, then they’re sentencing her on Monday.”

“Prison?” Robert asked.

“She shot you,” Vic said. “Yeah, I think it’s going that way. She’s had the crime reduced from manslaughter anyway, though you didn't die so maybe it wasn't that... I don't know, so… her lawyers have worked to give her the weekend, what with having just had a baby.”

“She can’t go to prison,” Robert said desperately.

“Rob…”

“No, she can’t,” Robert said. “Because that leaves me and I’m not enough.”

“Not enough for what?”

“I can’t parent a premature baby Vic!” Robert shouted. “I can’t. I’m not good enough, I can’t be all he has.”

“Stop panicking!” Vic said, hearing his heart rate ratchet up on the machines. “Right now, he’s in the best place he could be. You don’t have to do anything. Though a name would be good.”

“That was never my responsibility, I… God, I don’t know what to do.”

“You don’t have to do anything,” Vic said. “Just breathe.”

* * *

Liv looked around the corner, seeing Aaron in the kitchen, making a hell of a lot of noise. “How is he?” Liv asked nervously, as if dreading the answer.

“Robert?” Aaron asked. “Yeah, he’s going to make it, he’ll be fine with a bit of recovery time.”

“That’s good, right?” Liv said. “I thought…”

“He doesn’t want me, Liv,” Aaron said, looking down at the kitchen side. “I thought that… when he woke up…”

“What, that he’d fall into your arms?” Liv said, amused. “You’ve been pushing him away for ages, give him credit for some self respect.”

“He’s wanted us to get back together for so long, I thought that once I had my head straight that… I thought he’d wait. I… don’t know.”

“Do you want him?” Liv said.

“Yes,” Aaron said, perfectly honestly. Because he did, badly, and throughout their conversation in hospital it had been clear Robert did want him too.

“Then don’t give up,” Liv said. “That man is sickeningly in love with you, and you know it. Fight for him.”

“When did you get so smart?” Aaron asked and she grinned. “He’s got a baby now, this isn’t going to be easy.”

“In case you haven’t noticed over the last few years, Robert is not easy.” Aaron smiled at that, because that was so obviously true.

“You think he wants me?” Aaron asked, almost shyly. He didn’t do this talking about his feelings kind of thing.

“I think he’s been moping around the village like a kicked puppy, so yeah, I’m leaning that way,” Liv said with a grin. “I’m glad he’s going to be okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any ideas on the name?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently I have this story under my skin at the moment. Just can't stop! Thank you for the encouragement so far.

Robert had been given a wheelchair and was outside the NICU. He didn’t have the energy to stand for very long, but he felt highly aware that he was about to see his son for the first time. And that really, he was far too small, Robert knew that. Despite the circumstances of how this boy came into being, Robert did want him to be okay. He wheeled his chair into the room.

All too soon he was looking at his son, tubes and wires coming out of his tiny body, monitoring him. “I know he was early, but..” Robert said aloud, trying to cope with how this felt. The truth was, he felt… fear. He was terrified he was going to totally mess up this baby who was relying solely on him. Or even worse, what if he died in a few hours or days? 

“You can hold him,” the nurse said.

“Really?”

“He’s small and we want to keep him in the NICU until he gains some weight, but he doesn’t actually have any health problems. He’s breathing on his own, his lungs are good, so yes, you can hold him.” Robert nodded and the nurse fiddled with the incubator, taking the top off and making sure the baby was okay before handing him over to Robert, far more casually than Robert would have expected.

“God, he really is tiny,” Robert said. Once in his hands, the baby was completely enveloped by him, making a cute face as he yawned before settling in Robert’s arms.

“He needs a name,” the nurse said, almost critically.

“Me and his mother don’t get on,” Robert said in explanation. He hadn’t even thought of a name yet, he expected to have more time.

“Preemies tend to do better when they have a name,” she said before turning her attention to one of the other babies.

“Is that so?” Robert asked his son. “I don’t know what to call you. I’m sure any name I pick will be ruled out by your mother, but… it looks like she might be going to prison so… you’re stuck with me. And I know I’m not enough, but I’m afraid I’m all you’ve got.”

Robert kept looking at him, this tiny thing who might be something good he could do. Make up for all the mistakes in his life. Not like he’d be sharing his life with the man he loved after all. Robert noticed the baby had socks on. Which wasn’t that strange, but they were bright red, emblazoned with “little star” on each foot. They were personal, certainly not hospital issue.

“Who bought him the socks?” Robert asked. He knew it wasn’t him, and he expected Rebecca to have more on her mind, what with trying to reduce attempted murder charges to something less severe.

“Oh, er… his uncle.” the nurse said. Robert frowned, because it was highly unlikely, near impossible that Andy would have just appeared at a hospital now. And Rebecca didn’t have a brother, so that made no sense at all. “Aaron something, he’s visited a couple of times.” 

“What?!” Robert asked. Clearly something in his voice gave him away.

“He was signed through on reception,” she said, obviously being defensive. “If there’s family you don’t want to visit, you can say and…”

“No,” Robert said quickly. “I just… wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.” Robert shifted the weight of his son in his arms, gently. “You’ve made an impression then. All four pounds six ounces of you.” He opened his eyes, gorgeous blue and completely innocent. “So, name…” Robert said out loud, considering. He did a stage whisper “You’ve actually got a very narrow field, because I want it to be biblical. _You know who’s_ family tradition, and I’m never going to be over him. So, you only have a few to pick from.” Robert had previously looked up name suggestions on his phone, thinking of something that would fit, so he did have a few in mind.

“Jacob?” Robert suggested. “Would that be weird? It’s my middle name, so… actually forget that. Liv’s got that on off thing with Jacob across the street so that’s no good. “Isaac?” Robert mused. “James, Jamie. Ben. Joe. Eli? I just don’t know what to call you, it was never meant to be just my decision. Maybe auntie Vic will have some input. You think?” The boy blinked at him and Robert smiled. Maybe this, this he could get right.

* * *

“Ten years.”

“What?!”

“Ten years,” Robert repeated. “She didn’t get a sympathetic judge. Which means I’m a single parent to that baby for long enough for him to know he should have a mother and I’m not enough.”

“That seems a little extreme.”

“She did try to kill me, Vic,” Robert said. “And she admitted it. What would that baby be left with then? If she'd actually managed it?” Robert sighed. “Have you seen Aaron?”

“Yeah,” Vic said. “He seems… okay.”

“Just okay?”

“He misses his husband,” Vic said. “Why don’t you…?”

“Right, Mr Sugden, you’re ready to be discharged,” a bright eyed doctor said, coming in. “You’re healing well, we don’t need you to stick around any more, so if you just sign here, pick up your prescription, you’ll be ready to go.”

“That’s it?” Robert asked.

“That’s it.”

“Great,” he said, less than enthusiastically.

“Robert!” Vic snapped. “Don’t you want to get home?”

“I won’t be home, Vic. I’m going to have to keep coming here because my son isn’t strong enough yet.” She inclined her head in agreement and Robert sighed again, signing the document. It would be good to stop being confined to a hospital bed though.

* * *

Aaron hadn’t seen Robert in a week. A bit more than that actually. Robert had told him to leave, so he had, though that hadn’t stopped it hurting. Maybe when he was back in the village, maybe then. He knew (thank you Vic) that Robert had been discharged, but he was spending most of his days either catching up on work or with his son, understandably. But Aaron missed him and longed for him, and the added complication of a baby with someone else… well, that didn’t really seem to bother him as much as he’d expected. It just… was.

One day when walking to the café for a late breakfast, the perks of being his own boss, he saw Robert getting out of the back seat of a car, Diane driving. Aaron watched as he picked up the baby in his carrier, being so careful for him. For Aaron, it was like watching it in slow motion. He walked over, he couldn't not.

“I er… didn’t know you were coming home. You were both coming home,” Aaron corrected.

“Clever boy reached five pounds,” Robert said proudly. “Going through formula like it's going out of fashion. Almost eats as much as you do." Aaron smiled. "Sorry. Anyway, the hospital let him go, and now I’ve got to work out how to handle this all on my own.”

Aaron smiled, and it surprised him that it didn’t hurt as much as he expected. “Good. That’s good. And you’ll be great with him, don’t worry.”

“How are you so sure?”

“Because you’re actually a good person. When you let others see it.” Robert rolled his eyes but didn’t look convinced.

“Do you… want a coffee?” Robert asked hesitantly. “Want to come in?”

“Yes,” Aaron said firmly. He did want that. Diane could luckily take the hint and she left both men alone without so much as a word.

“You’re living with Diane?” Aaron asked as Robert switched the kettle on.

“Yeah, I need a bit of help,” Robert admitted. “My stomach still hurts a lot and I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing with him either.”

“He seems happy enough.”

“You can tell that from visiting him in hospital can you?” Robert asked slyly. “The nurses told me.”

“I wasn’t prying,” Aaron said. “His mother was being taken by the police, his father was on life support and… everyone needs someone you know? I didn’t think I was doing any harm, I’m sorry if…”

“No,” Robert said. “I’m just saying you didn’t have to visit. It means a lot to me that you did.”

“No one should be alone like that,” Aaron said. He reached for the boys hand, stroking the skin gently. “And hey, he can’t help that his mother has murderous tendencies and his father makes huge self destructive mistakes when given whisky, can he?” he added lightly.

“The socks…”

“Not from me,” Aaron said with a smile. “Liv saw them. I… she misses you too.” Robert smiled tiredly. Aaron took a deep breath and decided to just say it. “When you’re settled in, do you want to go out with me?” Robert’s head swung around in shock. “Not here, not the pub, I don’t want my mum sticking her nose in. Maybe Hotten. Just… I’d like to take you out. If you want.” It had been quite some time since Aaron had actually asked someone out on a date. Pulling a one night stand when he was out in town didn’t exactly count.

“Why?” Robert asked. “I mean… why would you want to?” Aaron smiled.

“I like the look of you,” he said with a smile, which faded when Robert didn’t look convinced. “Rob, come on. We can forget everything and start again. Just go out without the baggage of everything else that’s built up over the years. And I want to take you out.”

“Okay,” Robert said, after a moments consideration. “But not soon.” He shook his head. “As much as I hate to admit it, my stomach’s still in a lot of pain, and I’ve got him to look after too. I need some time to… adjust to how life is now. But if… in a few weeks you still want to? Yeah.”

“Good,” Aaron said, eyes glowing. “That’s good.”

“Bye little man,” Aaron said, stroking a hand over his downy head gently. He smiled at Robert once before leaving the house and Robert let out the breath he'd been holding. "Maybe not all's lost," Robert said to his son.


	9. Chapter 9

Robert noticed he was sleeping more than before, which he put down to the surgery, a side effect which was in the many many pages of paperwork from the hospital. Whenever the baby was asleep, Robert was asleep as well. The baby was taking up the majority of his time right now, too much to even think about Aaron as much as usual. Though whenever he did have a spare second, that man did invade most of his brain.

It was two in the afternoon one day and there was a knock on the door. “Why are you here? You skiving school?” Robert asked, seeing Liv standing on his doorstep.

“The man who cheated on his husband can stop giving me a lecture,” Liv said with a fake sweet smile on her face. “How are you?” she added more seriously.

“I’d like to remember what it felt like to eat without having crippling pains an hour afterwards,” Robert said. “Don’t get shot in the stomach is my advice. I’ll be fine,” he added, seeing that she was still worried. “Promise.”

“How’s… I don’t even know what to call him. What do I call my brothers husbands child? My… step nephew?” Liv asked, screwing her face up.

“He’s good too,” Robert said. “Do you want to see him?”

“Er… yeah, I kind of do,” Liv said. “Is that weird?”

“Liv, you’re my sister,” Robert said. “I know I messed up, okay? I know that, but I don’t want to lose you. He’s upstairs, I’ll get him.” Liv smiled

When Robert came back downstairs, sleeping baby in his arms he saw Liv going through the paperwork on the kitchen table. “Excuse me?”

“I’m nosey, so kill me,” Liv said, holding out the birth certificate. “Does Aaron know?”

“No,” Robert said. “Want to hold him?” Liv nodded.

“The second he starts screaming, you’re taking him back, right?” Liv said, a little nervously and Robert smiled. Joseph Aaron Sugden. “Did that name go over well with… er… Rebecca?”

“No,” Robert said. “But she kind of had to sign parental rights over to me when she was sentenced. I’ve not even seen her, just been through lawyers. I probably should see her, actually. Because if it were me, I’d want to know he’s okay. He was really early. So… visiting in prison. _Again._ Delightful.” Robert sighed and ran a hand over his face. “Sorry, not your problem.”

“He’s heavy,” Liv said.

“Getting bigger every day,” Robert said proudly.

“You know your daddy is a massive screw up, right?” Liv said to Joe. “But he’s our screw up.”

“Thanks, I think,” Robert said and she laughed. Joe screwed his face up and Robert knew that look. “Hold that thought, I’m just going to heat his formula up.”

“When are you coming home?” Liv asked.

“I don’t think it’s that simple,” Robert said.

“Sure it is.”

“Liv, he’s happier without me,” Robert said heavily.

“He’s happier because he’s in therapy,” Liv said. “He’s happier, because he assumed when he ended it you’d jump into bed with that blonde. He’s happy because you didn’t.”

“I never wanted her,” Robert said. “It wasn’t about her.”

“I know that,” Liv said. “I was there when he was sent to prison, remember?” Liv sighed and passed Joe over to Robert. He was starting to squall for his milk. “I’m not letting you totally off the hook for this, but… I know how bad things were for you, how you were trying to keep it together. Aaron doesn’t know that, he wouldn’t believe it if he did. He never sees how important he is to you.” Robert put the bottle in Joe’s mouth, guzzling greedily.

“What happened to you? When did you get so… observant?”

“Robert, you’re my family,” she said. “And I didn’t make it easy on you either.”

“You never do,” he grumbled and she grinned.

* * *

 

Aaron called him. Robert and the baby had been home for two weeks now and he wanted to go out with him, properly. Maybe he wasn’t being patient enough, but Aaron didn’t want to wait.

“Hi,” Robert said, then stifled a yawn.

“Oh, bad time?”

“No, Joseph just went to sleep. What’s up?”

“At the risk of sounding needy or desperate, how are we doing for that date you promised?” Aaron asked.

“Why do you want to go out with me?” Robert asked. “You seem so happy on your own, you don’t need me.”

“No, I don’t need you,” Aaron agreed. “But I want you. Do I need more of a reason than that?”

“Okay,” Robert said. He couldn’t keep pushing Aaron away just because he thought it was best for him. He didn’t have that level of self restraint when the truth was the mental image of having Aaron’s body pinned under his own was occupying most of his spare moments. He wasn’t a good enough man to keep saying no. “Where are you taking me?”

“What?” Aaron said.

“You asked me out,” Robert reminded him, a teasing note to his voice. “You’re the one who’s got to have a plan.”

“Right,” Aaron said and Robert smiled because he could tell Aaron was doing some quick thinking. “Well how about… no, you don’t like it there,” Aaron said. “I um…”

“I’ll go,” Robert said. Aaron was making an effort, so he would too. 

“I like the idea of thrashing you at pool,” Aaron said.

“You don’t know that you’ll beat me,” Robert said fairly.

“I do know. You’re a terrible player plus you’re sleep deprived." A pause. "How is he?”

“I er…”

“You can talk about your son with me,” Aaron said quietly. “He’s a big part of your life. When do I ever not talk about Liv with you?”

“That’s different, Liv’s… Liv.”

“She told me she skipped school to see you and the baby,” Aaron said. “Was she lying or…”

“No, she turned up,” Robert said. “I think she misses me.”

“She does,” Aaron said. “So… tomorrow night?”

“Sounds good,” Robert said warmly.

* * *

 

“You call me if you need anything,” Robert said, watching Diane and Joseph together, the latter sleeping.

“I’m able to look after babies, it’s almost like I’ve done this before,” Diane said sarcastically, then giving him a wink. “Go on. Get your man back.” Robert winced at how that sounded. “You love him?”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “I really do.” There was a knock on the door and Robert checked himself in the mirror once more. He’d picked a light blue shirt Aaron hadn’t seen before and jeans, he knew he looked good, but that didn’t stop him wanting to show off. _Aaron’s seen you without a stitch on about a thousand times by now, he likes what he sees, stop worrying,_ he kept thinking to himself. But he couldn’t help but worry, he wanted this to go well.

Another knock on the door. “I’ll call you if I need you, I promise,” Diane said. Robert grabbed his leather jacket and kissed Joe’s head gently before answering it. Aaron stood there looking incredibly good. A grey hoodie, a black T shirt and jeans that fit him incredibly well. His hair looked curlier that normal and Robert swallowed.

“Ready?” Aaron asked, grinning as if he could read his mind.

“Let me drive,” Robert said, closing the door.

“Why?”

“I can’t drink much anyway,” Robert said. “I’ll drive.”

“How is your stomach?”

“Sore,” Robert said getting his car keys out of his jacket. “But getting easier each day.”

“Good.” Aaron smiled at him, eyes dark with promise and Robert knew instinctively that this was going to be a good night.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is coming to an end. Maybe one chapter to go after this?? Thank you for reading so far, enjoy!

 

The drive had been interesting, the atmosphere certainly sparking with… something. It felt like a very odd mixture between their first date and their five hundredth date. Though they’d never really done this, going out together. It felt both new and familiar, giving both men a feeling of not quite sureness about the whole thing. Robert parked up, jerking slightly when Aaron’s fingertips brushed his thigh. Aaron smiled, as if knowing that his fingers had caused electric shocks to go up Robert's spine. “Come on, first round’s on me.”

* * *

 

Robert took a table in the corner, watching as Aaron bought them their drinks. Robert was going to limit himself to one beer, not really wanting to push it too much with his stomach. Also if he had to get home suddenly because Joe needed him… well, it was just better to stay sober. Robert watched as a blond eyed up Aaron at the bar. That was why he didn’t like coming to places like this. Aaron was bloody gorgeous and he didn’t enjoy other men looking at what was his. This was so hypocritical of him after what he’d done with Rebecca, but he didn’t care. Being possessive and needlessly jealous was a personality fault of his. So sue him. And that blond was certainly eyeing up Aarons arse as he leant over the bar far too eagerly. Places like this would be full of men who’d think Aaron was available and that… he hated that. _He could have slept with a dozen men while you were apart_ a nasty voice said in the back of his mind.

Which meant by the time Aaron came back with their drinks, Robert was in a much less happy mood than he had been five minutes ago. “What’s wrong?” Aaron said. “Look, we can go somewhere else if…”

“No, I’m fine,” Robert said. “I don’t like people… looking at you,” he finished pathetically, knowing he was being stupid.

“Rob, it’s only a problem if I look back,” Aaron said softly. “How’s Joe doing?”

“You don’t want to hear about him,” Robert said. “He’s fine, and that’s that.”

“Robert, it’s okay,” Aaron said, reaching across the table and covering his hand. “You’re human, you obviously love your son.”

“Bad timing though.”

“Rebecca’s in prison, it’s not like I have to compete with her any more.”

“You never did.”

“That’s what it felt like though,” Aaron said. “She was what you were supposed to want, rich, pretty, almost an heiress. Then pregnant with your child? I mean, I couldn’t compete with that. She was exactly who you were supposed to end up with.”

“But not who I wanted. She was never who I wanted, Aaron.”

“I think I know that now,” Aaron said. “I needed time to… get my head straight. One thing I do want to know, though.” Robert nodded for him to go on. “Would you have slept with her if you were sober?”

“I don’t know,” Robert said. “Probably yeah. At the time I was on self destruct and felt like I was losing absolutely everything. One thing I know I wouldn’t have done; or would have really. I’d have… been safe, if I were sober. You know what I’m like, you know I’m a complete control freak. I don’t take risks like that.”

“I remember,” Aaron said, and he did. During the affair they were ridiculously careful with safe sex. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think she should have slept with you. I know what you can get like when you’re druk, and…”

“It’s done,” Robert said. “I don’t want to waste our time together by talking about her.”

“True.”

“We’re breaking the rules,” Robert said after a sip from his beer. “Nothing serious, this is meant to be fun.”

“Okay,” Aaron said, indulging him. “I meant what I said though, I am going to beat you at pool.”

“Bring it on.”

* * *

 

“You’re even worse than I thought,” Aaron said on a laugh.

“Shut up.”

“Come on, even Liv can play better than that.”

“Yeah, well she skips school to practise,” Robert muttered, taking the shot and completely missing it. Aaron laughed.

“That’s not helping!” Robert snapped. He couldn’t help it, he was competitive in pretty much everything, just because he was rubbish at something didn’t change that.

“You’re shooting wrong,” Aaron said, coming around the table. “Try again.”

“W… what are you doing?”

“Robert, come on.” Aaron leaned over him, changing his grip on the cue. Robert almost couldn’t breathe, the way Aaron’s chest was pressing against his back. He hadn’t been this close, this physically near another person in months, and playing pool was now the last thing on his mind. “There. Now take the shot,” Aaron said lowly, his voice reverberating in his ear. Robert did, though his concentration had been completely shattered. He potted the ball, then quickly flipped over in Aaron’s arms, so he was actually laying on the pool table. Aaron looked at him, eyes dark with lust. Aaron’s eyes flicked to his lips and before Robert knew what was happening, Aaron kissed him. Robert didn’t care where he was, he didn’t care that he was in public almost sprawled across a pool table. Instead he laced his hands through Aaron’s hair, keeping him as close as possible. It took a serious presence of mind for Robert not to open his thighs in invitation. But they were in public after all, and Aaron’s tongue tasting him was more than enough for right now. 

They only broke apart when someone cleared their throat right next to them. “Are you actually using the table?” Aaron got off him and Robert straightened up, pulling his shirt back into place.

“Yeah we are using it actually,” Aaron said, trying to brush this stranger off who didn’t seem best pleased.

“I’m sure your wife would like to know where you are,” the man said to Robert, obviously clocking the wedding ring.

“My husband knows exactly where I am thanks,” Robert said coldly. The man took the hint and left them to it, Robert looking at Aaron. “It’s your turn.”

* * *

Aaron groaned, his throat actually feeling hoarse now. Robert was straddling his lap, kissing him deeply, hands skimming skin and apparently in no hurry to find the bed upstairs. The evening had passed in a rush, and finding themselves back at the Mill seemed to have happened so quickly. “Robert, come on, I need…”

“I don’t sleep with men on the first date,” Robert said, his voice most definitely teasing now.

“What? You’re kidding, right?”

“No,” he said, a grin on his face pushing his hips forward and making Aaron’s head roll back against the sofa. “I’m going to leave you…” he kissed Aaron gently. “Wanting so much more.”

“Robert, please, I want…”

“I know,” he said. “But you’re going to have to be patient.” He kissed him again, Aaron eager and desperate and he smirked to himself. Right where he wanted him. “See you tomorrow.” Robert got off him and headed towards the door, leaving Aaron panting and throbbing. He’d really thought he was about to get Robert’s body under his. Because since when did Robert show restraint, especially when it came to sex? Aaron adjusted himself in his jeans, trying to calm down and five minutes later he heard footsteps on the stairs. Quiet Liv shaped footsteps.

“Is he gone?” Liv asked.

“Yes,” Aaron said on a sigh. Liv came all the way downstairs, now she knew she wasn’t going to see anything she didn’t want to.

“Oh. How did it go? I thought I‘d need my headphones tonight and…”

“It went good,” Aaron said. “I think we’re going slow, but… good.” Liv smiled. “Why does it bother you anyway?”

“I like Robert,” she said. “And when you were in prison, I needed him. So yes, I’m glad. I want him back here.”

“It’s not that easy,” Aaron warned.

“This is his home. You know it and I know it.”

“Maybe,” Aaron said. “Go back to bed,” he added in a soft voice. Liv nodded and did, bare feet padding up the stairs. Aaron curled up on the sofa, thinking of Robert. He’d forgotten how much his physical presence effected him. Or that wasn’t strictly true, he’d tried to forget and downplay it. Yes, that was probably more accurate. But having Roberts body willing against his, the muscle, the skin, the sweat of him, all so beautifully familiar and Aaron just ached for him. He didn’t care about the rest of it, they’d figure it out. His body wanted Robert, and his heart needed him. Everything else would just have to find a way to slot into place.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! Thank you so much for supporting this! Here's hoping on the show it all turns right in the end...

Things were becoming familiar. They called each other quite a bit, Robert was slotting back into Liv’s life very well. Aaron would be a fool not to see that Liv was enjoying him having a role in her life once more. Aaron had only seen Joe a couple of times, in the village. Whenever they met up Robert was very careful not to bring Joe or mention him more than necessary. Aaron appreciated the thoughtfulness but it wasn’t needed, not any more. Robert’s son, while not ideal, was here and here to stay. And Aaron didn’t mind that as much as he’d expected. Liv turning up at the time she had had certainly not been ideal for Robert, but he’d gone with it.

Christmas was coming and one day Aaron did see Robert and Joe together. They were in the shop, Joe on Robert’s chest in his sling. He was awake and looking at his father, Robert distracted as he picked up a few things.

“Hi,” Aaron said. Robert looked up, his face bright, then filled with fear as he looked at Joe.

“I er… sorry, I should… I’m not rubbing your nose in it, I…”

“Calm down,” Aaron said, actually enjoying Robert’s embarrassed stutters. “How’s he doing?”

“Do you care?” Robert asked. “Not that I’d blame you, I… this whole situation is a mess.”

That at least Aaron agreed with. “Yes. But I’m not about to make it worse.” Joe looked at Aaron, blinking at him and Aaron smiled. “It’s not his fault. And I’m done, Robert. I’m done crucifying you for one mistake when I want you in my life. Okay?” Robert nodded but didn’t look convinced until Aaron kissed him, soft, gentle and they only broke apart when Joe snuffled at being squashed. “I mean it.” Robert nodded, eyes light. “Hey, Frank’s doing another pub quiz for Christmas tonight. Like last year, do you want to…”

“Yes,” Robert said. “I do, but it might be… plus one. Vic’s working, I can’t ask Diane to baby sit on such short notice and…”

“Well, I eat children, so obviously he’s not welcome,” Aaron said sarcastically and Robert rolled his eyes, making Aaron smile.

“I thought you didn’t want to go to the pub with me.”

“My mums got to get used to seeing you,” Aaron said. “Both of you. You’re not going anywhere.” Robert beamed at that, a smile that lit him up from within. “Can I erm…?” Aaron nodded to the baby and Robert took him out of the sling, handing him over to Aaron carefully.

“Do your shopping,” Aaron said, cradling the boy. “I don’t bite.”

“Okay,” Robert said after a moment. He quickly gathered all the bits and pieces they needed, he’d taken to buying a lot of the food shop for Diane as well, a thanks for letting him stay there with Joe. Robert was sure a screaming baby in the middle of every night wasn’t the ideal scenario for her. Once Robert had his shopping, he looked at Aaron who was cuddling his son. There really was no other word for it.

“You look good with him,” Robert said. Aaron smiled, handing the baby back who let out a gummy smile at Robert. “Oh, he smiled at me,” Robert said, trying to downplay it a little. But Joe had never smiled before. He knew who Robert was then, so maybe he wasn’t doing a terrible job parenting him.

“Is that new?” Aaron asked and Robert nodded. “Tonight then?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” Aaron tapped his finger against Joe’s nose and carried on with his own shopping as Robert left the shop.

* * *

“Right, I want a word with you,” Aaron said, taking the pint his mother gave him.

“What’ve I done?” she asked innocently.

“Nothing, yet,” Aaron said.

“If this is about Robert…”

“Do you know, it is,” Aaron said. “Give him a chance.”

“He…”

“Screwed up,” Aaron said. “Yeah, he did. It’s never going to happen again.”

“Because she’s in prison,” Chas said darkly.

“Is that what you think?” Aaron asked. “It’s never going to happen again because I’m not going to shut down and tell him I can cope without him and lie to him. I’m not going to get hooked on spice or whatever again and face being in withdrawal alone. It’s not going to happen again because he knows he messed up, big time. And you know that too, otherwise you’d have let him come clean when I was in prison. He hurt us both, he knows that. It’s not happening again. And even if it does, it’s my heart I’m risking. Not yours. So back off, and give him a chance, okay?”

“Just… be careful,” Chas said. “I won’t bar him and I’ll even smile when I serve him. But he better have proved he’s changed by the time I need to buy another hat.” Aaron rolled his eyes but accepted the olive branch. He wouldn’t push it.

* * *

“Hey,” Robert said lightly, as he set the baby carrier on the table in the corner of the pub. Aaron smiled at him, then Joe.

“We’re actually… four, tonight,” Aaron said as Robert sat opposite him. “Liv’s had a fight with Gabby and I want to take her mind off it. That okay?”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “More the merrier, though we are going to win this. I’m going to get seriously annoyed if we come anything other than first.” 

Aaron grinned. “I’m glad you’re here,” he said, doing something he wouldn’t normally and leaning across the table to kiss him. Robert looked surprised but pleased.

“We’re winning this thing, right?” Liv said, scooting in next to Robert.

“Absolutely.”

* * *

 

At the end of the night, Liv was dozing on Robert’s shoulder, Joe asleep in Aaron’s arms and Robert and Aaron were having a whispered fight over question 47. It was the first time in so long that either man had felt normal, right and happy. Even the glaring from Chas at the bar had died down.

“Put your answer down,” Robert said, relenting in the end.

“What, so you can blame me in five years time when I’m wrong?” Aaron said.

“Yes, so I can blame you in five years time,” Robert repeated, the thought that Aaron would still be here with him in five years time was a good one. Aaron got the implication too and his eyes went soft. 

“So… are you staying over ours tonight?”

“You mean yours?”

“No,” Aaron said. “I mean **_ours_**.” Robert smiled at him.

“Well, I could,” Robert said. “But we…” he looked at Joe, sleeping in his arms. “I don’t have his baby monitor or anything set up, so…” What Robert’s trying to say is “no sex” without actually saying it and Aaron knew it.

“Stay over,” Aaron said. “I’m not going to beg, but…”

“If you’re sure?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “I miss you.”

“He screams every morning at three for formula,” Robert warned. “And it takes a while for me to heat the milk up so he cries for a while. I’ve started kicking in my sleep again, my stomach still hurts occasionally making me moan and…”

“You’re really selling it to me,” Aaron said with a wink. “I want to lie next to you tonight. Now if you don’t want that…”

“I didn’t say that,” Robert said. “I don’t… get to be selfish any more.”

“Joe, you want to come home with uncle Aaron?”

“I don’t like “uncle” Aaron,” Robert said. It didn’t feel right somehow.

“Named after Aaron, then,” Liv said tiredly. Both men looked at her.

“What’s she talking about?”

“Joe’s middle name,” Robert admitted. “It’s yours. Joseph Aaron Sugden.”

“Why?” Aaron asked, not getting it at all. “Why would you do that? What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking I was naming my son after the person who mattered the most to me. That’s not a bad thing.”

“And what does his mother think about that?” Aaron asked.

“She lost the right to think about it when she shot me,” Robert said darkly. “Look, I know I’ll have to talk to her about it eventually, but… not right now. It’s done and I’m not changing my mind.”

“Come home,” Aaron said. Robert couldn’t do anything else but agree.

* * *

 

It did feel slightly odd, getting into bed together without the promise of sex. He’d set up Joe’s monitor tomorrow, but right now it was too late, and they could hold off sex for one night. Robert took one of Aaron’s old T shirts and put it on to sleep in, enjoying the scent of him, the soft familiarity of it. Aaron smiled and when they were in bed Robert kissed him. Soft lazy beautiful kisses. Like they had all the time in the world, which maybe, just maybe they did.

Robert woke up at 3:02am. It was usual, it was becoming his habit these days because of Joe. But he wasn’t crying, he also wasn’t in the room. Neither was Aaron. So assuming they were together, Robert went downstairs. Aaron was in the kitchen, shirtless, Joe to his chest as he rocked him.

“He’s been fed,” Aaron said quietly, hearing Robert’s footsteps, keeping swaying with the baby.

“You know how to make formula?” Robert asked in surprise.

“No, but google has its uses,” Aaron said with a smile. “I made sure it was at the right temperature I’m not a total idiot.”

“I didn’t say anything,” Robert said. “He’s asleep.”

“I know,” Aaron said. “I didn’t want to put him down. Sorry, I don’t want to take liberties and…”

“This is good,” Robert interrupted. “You with him... it's good.”

“I don’t see her,” Aaron said. “I thought… before… when she was pregnant that I’d look at the baby, this nameless faceless baby and I’d always see Rebecca. I don’t. I look at him and I see him. I don’t even see you so much, he’s just… Joe.”

Robert smiled and pulled Aaron into his arms. “We’re going to make it, right?”

“Maybe,” Aaron said. “Until the next crisis. You know us, we’ll always have one.”

“Yes, we will,” Robert agreed. “Go up to bed, I’ll take him.”

“I don’t mind,” Aaron said. “He’s easier to handle than his father.” Robert kissed Aaron’s bear shoulder than Joe’s head. They were going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!


End file.
